OUR LOVE STORY

I used to be a girl of 18
I'm a girl of 18 and I was raped,

RAPED behind the curtains of love, I wish I knew what it actually was.

I used to be a girl of colors and now m just a victim.

It was always about sex, and I thought it was just a part of our relationship. I WAS wrong, but the worst part was I sold my self out.

Sold my self for a fake feeling of being loved someone who never loved me.

And now, if this rope around my neck and stops me from breathing consider me dead.

I have been in relationships before but then i met this guy; The words i could reply on, the shoulders i could cry on, and the love i could die on and here I'm.

This a our love story, like a true love novel .It started a year ago, when i was broken, i had no idea what was going on in life. I was tired of being in a fake relationship, I was tired of being caught at home for talking to someone on call at 1:00 pm, I was afraid of being afraid . So i decided so set my self free and enjoy the amazing life of freedom. We broke and that was not a big thing now to me. This time i fell in love with myself , I took me out on eat, I asked myself for movies and I loved myself .

Life was perfect until, I met this amazing guy, tall, handsome and supporting. He was called "Neighbor" and he was 19. The first interaction was weird, he knocked my door for a glass of milk. In sequence, The bell rang, i opened the door, the voice came,"i'm your neighbour, can you please give me milk in this glass". There was an awkward silence followed by laughter. That's how awkwardly we met.

We started to talk and it was amazing in his company, and so after dating each other for like 7 months , He proposed me on a romantic date ,It was a Yes.

Things were amazing unless it turned to be a relationship. Then came Sir jealous, jumped ma'am possessiveness and i was introduced to real face of this guy i have been in love with. After firs week ,

It was time for me to pay my sins for crime i haven't even know.

Sex is an important part of relationship, I agree but with mutual understandings, He asked me once i wasn't ready . He went totally comfortable but then after few days he went angry on me and i was like whats wrong. He now wanted intimacy, i thought its safe we love each other a lot. We did it for the first in a hotel room, with lights dim and rose bed.

I wasn't sure if whats happening is right or wrong.

But, then i trust him and he loved me, (i wish). Next week it was 2:00 on the wall clock and he asked me for nudes, I was now astonished and i refused. We had an argument and ending up to fight for 4 days we didn't talked and then he was sorry. Things turned blue once again, It was good he was good and the we did it for second time and with mutual agreement.

Next week he calls me, high on smoke and says he love me, he wanted more of intimacy and the way he said , i was scared. He then asked me to check my Facebook messenger , he had the clip or ours first date and here i went out of breathe. I deleted the conversation as if it would delete the original video. I was dead, torn and broken. Scattered into pieces and i could not even think of anything , i just went up with my tears. Making a will would have been easier.

I could sleep that night, i called him but no one responded . Next day we met in the apartments parking and he said he was sorry . I wish if sorry could turn things good again. I slapped him, and that day i saw a beast inside a human. I saw a villain ,i saw a murder of love and a sex addict in his eyes. He wanted more of it and forever until he gets used to me as his bed-mate.

I wasn't sure to cry because he was fake or to cry because i was selling my self out for his lust. I believe god does exist but i doubt he sees thing. It's 2 months and now i have scars more than the stars this sky could ever hold. I tried to take a stand but, I feared being destroyed,which i already was. I took a step last when he was having taste of mine, tied me with the bed, And his skin as thorns, hurting my soul. I gave up on fear. "I KILLED HIM" .
Was this our love story story, why was it different from real romantic stories, like there in the true love novel.

And i believe i killed a member of this civilized society and i must not be allowed to walk free on roads. My parents would have shame on me and i must be and example for those who wish to love.I'm criminal for all and i know it.